Hail the soul travelers!
Hail the ones beyond flesh!
Hail the memories!
With these words,
I honor and intend
to elevate my dead.
With these words,
I commemorate them
with my hearty respect.
With these words
I celebrate them, fully.
Some people,
especially those who
have fragile or unexplored faith
and those who feel
they’ve been abandoned
by whatever belief
they once held as true,
may find the dynamics
of the rites,
such as memorial services,
funerals or whatever other
sorts of gatherings of this nature
they have in their minds,
to be a hardship.
They often feel overwhelmed, incapable and unable to indulge these opportunities,
especially if there is any sort of time to pause and think too long about it. In my experience, this is normal. Nonetheless, if the dead are loved by those still wearing flesh I do encourage those who can manage to weave together some observation to do so, if possible, with others who may yearn, themselves,
to share the experience together.
If a person’s physical absence
is too much to bear,
gather with others.
If a person’s trauma
was too much to discuss,
gather with others.
If a person needs
to remember that
there is support
and encouragement
still remaining, somewhere,
gather with others.
It is in this very observation
of vulnerable humility
that these things are found,
most often.
It is important
that someone speaks
to help address the wounds
of insurmountable hardship
in these ways,
to allow the pain to be
both validated and freed.
It is important
that someone holds space
to observe and draw out
the suffering
and challenges experienced.
It is important
that someone offer the opportunity
to the ones still remaining
to nudge some stories,
possibly share their own
and to listen to those of others.
The hard part
of these sorts of gatherings,
for many,
is the pity
which is too often
brought along
by those well-meaning folks
who intend to be supportive.
Pity, in my view,
offers no support.
It offers only
a heavier weight to bear
for those already
folding into sadness.
Many skip hosting funerals altogether
rather than receive
the daunting pity
of these people.
Simply, it’s too much.
I understand.
Nonetheless,
I do encourage these rites,
whenever possible,
if only
to witness those
who have carried the weight
and somehow, managed
to still show up
for the dead,
for themselves
and for others.
So have the event.
Have a person speak
of the particular aspects
of the one beyond flesh
which are memorable.
The speaker need not be
a family member or friend,
It may be though.
Some folks
prefer saying nothing.
Others like to share.
There is always someone
qualified and willing
to lead a service,
whether voluntarily
or for hire.
Receive them.
If they are chosen to
serve as an officiant
(simply, a ceremonial guide),
it is wise to ask
the specific content
of their intention,
to be sure their values
and ethics align
with those of the host
(and perhaps, the dead)..
Regardless,
it is in these moments of sharing
that the treasures of laughter
and the mentions of merit,
bubble up.
It is in these moments
the hope offered
via poems, prayers,
spiritual content and songs
that the sadness is both,
given allowance
to flow freely,
as well as, perhaps,
providing a balm
to impart some comfort.
Please, do celebrate your dead.
For the respect of the fleshless,
yes, of course,
but also, for the ability
to share with community,
what is often too heavy
to carry alone.
When this is done well
it can happen
that all are gifted
a lighter burden,
if any at all.
For some,
the release is full.
In fact, there may even be
mending of hearts
and a seed of healing
for those who choose
to simply show up.
For those who need an officiant
to guide and hold space,
through healthy mourning,
please reach out.
This is my niche.
I'm good at this
and
can assist you
with processing.
Reach out via
thesoulconvergence@gmail.com
for services, rates and availability.
Hail the soul travelers!
~Sherry
For more enriching words,
please visit the blogs
you will find at
www.soulconvergence.org
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